Wednesday, February 27, 2013

No Regrets.....

Last year one of my kindred spirits, Geanie Finley, 
wrote a tremendously inspiring blog post about turning 50.

I'm not entirely sure that what I'm going to write will be inspiring, 
but it is what's under my top hat,


 so here it goes......





 This week I became 50 years old
 I can say it.
 I can write it.
BUT
It Feels Like A Mistake
 Like some sort of mathematical miscalculation has occurred
OR
 One of those horrid dreams
 in which you find you are still in High School
You don't know where you're supposed to be
You don't recognize anyone
PANIC

( I hate that dream....  
Am I the only one who has that dream??
Sorry. I digress.....)







I've been on this planet since 1963 
So Why Do I feel like I just got here?


 When I see a wide open grassy area
 I still have that urge to turn cartwheels across it
 I still scrutinize a tree's branch configuration
 looking for the best path to climb it.
&
Every Time I'm Near A School Yard Playground
 I HAVE TO SWING

 There seems to be so much child inside me, 
 Everyday I Find
Something new to learn
 Something new I want to try.

So How Can It Be That I'm "50"
I Mean...


Okay Fine 
I'm Flippin' 50



If I Look Back....


Have I wasted time?
There will likely be much less of it in my future.

Have I worried too much about things I can't change?
There is so much beyond my control.

Have I made the same mistakes time after time?
Nothing will ever change, if nothing changes.

Have I lived the standard American dream?
I'm not even sure I've paid attention to what that was.


I guess it comes down to this one answer
I'm Happy!!


And That's Good
Right?? 
Isn't that all any of us truly want??

~To be happy with ourselves
at any given moment.
 ~Loving where we've been &
Embracing the road ahead
~Peace in knowing that you are
Always where you're supposed to be.
~Gratitude for a Life 
Full of, Love, Friendship & Beauty



It's been an evolution
 through all 50 years
through mistakes
through mishaps
through missing out
through.....

 



Getting to Know Myself
finding my imperfect but "true" self
 Liking Who I Found


  




Marrying the Man "I Loved"
not the one with the biggest bank account

 I'd Marry Him All Over Again Too






Being Someones Parent
something I swore I'd never do
It Made Me A Better Person
 





Working at Stifling Office Jobs For Years
Hated It....Seriously Hated It

I Changed, Started Anew
Now My Passion is My Job



    
I'm always Afraid
 when I change direction in my life....
BUT
I have always chosen to change anyway
I Just Do It Afraid.
And That is What I Am Most Proud of.




That Little Girl
 who never left me
has served me well.
She whispers to me, encouraging me
to take chances, 
to be brave,
 to go ahead & do it
Everything will be all right


Some might say my attitude is naive
 for a Woman of 50


Perhaps It Is
But so far
I Have No Regrets


Can they say as much??







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